Today it has been 365 days since you left us. While I miss you more than anyone could possibly even know, I’m so happy that you are FREE. It feels like I lost you last week and here we are a year later. I want you to know (and I’m sure you already do) that I am trying to take this situation and make it as positive. As I possibly can. I am always trying to bring up Jenna and Dad’s spirits and help them through it. Everything I do, I do with you in mind. There is one lyric that relates to how I live now, “Every step I take, every move I make, every single day, every time I pray, I’ll be missing you.” But in addition to this, everything I’ve been doing is to make you proud. You know I’ve always believed in both Grandma’s and both Grandpa’s spirits watching over me and taking care of us, and now that you’ve been gone, I truly believe you watch over everything and are guiding us all through the rest of our time here. I feel that you are helping each of us get through this in a different way and you made some strong at points and some weaker at points for a reason. Just the thought of you being cured of Huntington’s Disease up in Heaven can put a smile on my face. I know you’re okay and I know you’re having fun being able to speak up, walk and dance around, sing, and eat with utensils!!! Although I am tough and look as if I have it all together, I know you see me crying sometimes. But they’re usually tears of happiness because of each and every amazing memory we shared together. You put a smile on my face each an every minute of every day, and I will not make today or any other day different. You send me smiles from up above and I know you send me the happiness I have today.
I owe a lot to you, Mom. I just wish that we could be sitting and laughing together. You gave me the best 21 years of my life no matter how hard the days got. As I get older I realize more and more how much I am like you and the traits you gave me such as: my nose (we all knew that already!!!), my dry skin (thanks!!), my sweet tooth and love for food, and my heart. I used to hate the fact that I had your nose but now I look at it(I’ve grown into it at least) and I see you and that’s all I could ever ask for. I hope to be half the woman that you were and I don’t even have to really say it but, I hope I make you proud each and every day.
I love you and I will fight for this disease until the day I leave this Earth.
Xoxo, your oldest daughter,
P.S. Hopefully I will be able to connect with you soon! Trying to work something out with a medium.