I love writing and telling about my story more than anything. It may not seem that way since my posts are so sporadic, BUT I’ve been trying to find my place back out in society and get back on my feet after my mom’s passing. We are almost 6 months in to her being gone, and things are just starting to feel a little bit normal again.
If there is one thing that I have learned in a half year it is to never give up and push on. There were plenty of days where I did not want to do anything. I did not want to be seen, or heard or move. What I’ve learned is that it’s normal to feel that way. I have realized that if I just sit there and do nothing, give up and dwell on the fact that I physically do not have my mom…I will accomplish nothing and I will never meet any of my goals. Of course there are days where I am sitting around and get bad or depressing thoughts, but I have taught myself to relax in those moments, talk to myself and breathe. It’s the simple things that are getting me by. So here is my guide on how to get through this and never give up:
Friends. It does not matter whether you have five, ten, or even just one really good friend. Make sure that you are not spending all of your time alone. Occupy yourself, go out when you can and you feel good enough to. Also, talk to them!!!! There’s nothing better than having someone you can vent to no matter what. Remember, not all your friends have to be people you know personally/live near. THAT’S WHAT THE HD COMMUNITY IS HERE FOR!! Talk to people through the Facebook groups. (I find the best support in people I have met at the HD camps/convention!)
Family. They are going through this fight with you. Don’t be afraid to talk to them when you are upset, scared, realizing changes or just need someone to listen. I talk to my dad all the time. I text him when I need(I don’t live with him), he’s my shoulder to cry on when I’m home, and just the person I turn to when I need a good laugh. Just don’t hold everything in, be honest with them and yourself.
Research. I know for some knowing everything about Huntington’s Disease can be scary and you’d rather just know what you know and call it a day, but honestly researching and understanding more about the disease helped me out so much. (Make sure the stuff you read is credible though, one that is:****HDBuzz***** check it out!) Hearing all the good news about gene silencing trials, Enroll HD, Conventions, Camps…it all makes a difference and good news is always great, right?!
Do Not Stop Living Your Life. I thought that when my mom passed I would never be the same, never be able to move on in life, but you know what? You have to. It’s cliche, but that is not what your loved one would want for you whatsoever. So, keep doing what you were doing before they passed, before they got diagnosed, before they had a bad fall, before they got Hospice or admitted to a home. Take time that you need to heal, but never stop living your life. Live for the now, and know that you are making your loved one proud, and you should be making yourself proud to. You can do it. I didn’t think I could, but I am.
My fight is not over yet. I cannot say that I am one hundred percent healed and accepting of what had happened. But in March I was at zero percent, and now I’d say I’m at fifty percent. Happiness, acceptance and healing does not happen over night. Let your mind and body have that time to reflect and heal.
Never give up, XOXO.